Sunday, December 28, 2008

too early to be thinking

i electrocuted myself this morning, which i took as God's little slap on the wrist for missing church when i wasn't physically ill. my arm was tingly and fingers numb for about an hour afterwards and i think i've developed a twitch in my right eye, but that's probably not a result of my electrocution, just a sign of things to come. the shock reminded me of the last time i made contact with electricity. i was really, really young (and apparently none too bright) when i took a butter knife to an outlet, i think, to get something out of it. i thought i was going to die. i was, perhaps, a tad fatalistic as a child. but that incident was not nearly as shocking (hehe, get it?) as today's. and although the thought of death didn't take a stroll through my mind, i did curse myself for being even more stupid the second time. so back to the reason for the reprimand, i stayed home today. all day. ignoring all phone calls (except from mum) and the rest of the outside world for the complete day. no church, no callings, no people. these past few weeks, with holidays and parties and plays and friends and family and work and meetings...and...and...and... well, let's just say that it has been, in a word, exhausting. i am easy to tire especially being around people. i know, i know, i come from a large family, both immediate and extended, but for some reason it takes a lot out of me to be around others. it is easier around family, i don't usually feel the pressure to put on my ready made facade of the easy-going, responsible, funny bob that i keep handy in my pocket at all times in public. but family in itself is exhausting and mine especially so. (of course i think this for the sole reason that i deal with my family on a daily basis. so maybe my family isn't "especially so" but this is my blog so leave me alone.) anyway, sundays are particularly tiring to me because of the large number of people i am force to be nice to, the meaningless comments i'm suppose to reciprocate, the air that is sucked away from me by the heat of other beings. i hold three callings; sunday school teacher for the 12~15yrs class, choir director, branch missionary. honestly, i like all of my callings, but usually at the end of my duty-filled four hours i am ready for a good night's sleep. unfortunately, sleep does not always come to me when i ask it to and so here i am at 5am after a night spent alone, writing a blog in which i can't remember if i said anything that made sense or was offensive and am too tire to go back and check. 

Friday, December 12, 2008

million year echo...echo...echo...echo...

now live in new york city! and to think he used to write music on a plastic toy guitar...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

christmas wish list

every year around christmas time i find myself more stressed out then at any other time of the year. i worry about money and being able to give presents to the people i want to give presents to. i worry about not having accomplished any of the things that i promised i was going to at the beginning of the year. i get frustrated because i feel as though i have way too much stuff going on and there is no possibility of me finishing it all. so below i've listed what i call my true christmas wish list.

dear santa,

this year for christmas i'm not asking a lot,
just a few simple things that don't have to be bought.
peace on earth and peace of mind,
peace to know that i've still got more time.
money for rent and some money for fun,
money for presents for everyone.
patience to get through this holiday play
and will so that next year i'll just say ''no way''
and if this is too much then let's just say a truce,
so long as i get my big guy named bruce!

luv bob

Thursday, December 4, 2008

ok...here i go...again...

ok, so i've tried the blog thing before a couple of times now, and i think that my whole problem is that i hate doing anything that i feel like i have to do. so this time i'm going to fail-proof this blog by telling myself this is something that no one is making me do and it is perfectly acceptable for me to go a year or two between posts, which (let's be real here) will probably happen.  

so i know that most people regularly visit different blogs for different reasons. my mom says that i should write about my life here on saipan, and i think "nah...i like these people way too much" and then i really think about it and go "well, what else do i really have to write about? and by the way, since when did i start liking people?" and so you get yet another boring narrative about the ins and outs of a nobody's life by somebody who thinks that the ins and outs of her life are worth narrating. 

so here's the saipan paradox of the day: 
  why is it impossible to get all of your basic grocery needs all in one supermarket 
  yet extremely common to be able to get your hair cut where you can also get your watch fixed,
  or buy hand knitted baby clothes the same time as you rent a movie,
  or (certainly my favorite) order piping supplies through the same company as you order your   pizza?