Wednesday, January 14, 2009

FINALLY!!

after about three weeks of intense anxiety and frustration (following at least two months of procrastination) i am finally, finally registared for classes at the local community college here. yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen, this is bob's fourth college to attend in 51/2 years! bob never expected to out do her previous record of 3 different schools in a 4 year high school career, but then again bob never ceases to be amazing in the record breaking department. and whats more, this college is just to get an associate's degree so that bob can then transfer to yet another school to finish out. maybe bob would make a good college evaluator (yeah, forget the whole doctor/lawyer thing!). anyway, classes start the 20th and hopefully this will give me the chance to address number 9 on my resolutions' list. 

Sunday, January 4, 2009

resolution: "a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something."(dictionary.com).

my birthday occurs about three months from the end of the year and this last time as i celebrated the completion of my 24th cycle on this earth, a friend said something to me that made an impression. she said, "24, that was a good year for me". now this friend is in her forties with kids and was already married with children when she was 24. when she made this comment i thought, "what have i done this past year that when i am her age i will be able to look back and say '24 was a good year for me'?" as i reflected i realized that i had really nothing substantial that i could say "look i've done this" or "i accomplished that". in fact since graduating high school 5 1/2 years ago all i had to show for myself was a decent amount of miles added to my frequent flier account and an indecent amount of pounds added to my butt. now the whiny side of me said "but bob, you've been struggling with a severe mental disease that has taken a lot out of you and that you are still working on controlling, no one expects great things from you." but then the kick-butt side of me said, "bob, you are a severe mental disease and let's face it, in the next life when your maker asks you "why didn't you ever do anything?" do you really want to use the excuse "well, i had a severe mental disease" he's just gonna throw that john nash guy in your face and then what will you have to say?" anyway, the point is i want to do something with my life. i want to do something now so that when i'm older and laden down with a family, or a real job, or/and other responsibilities that i am able to reflect and go "see i had a whole other life once, one in which i was this kind of person that did these many different things and lived in this way." so below (if you are still reading) is a list of things that i really, really am going to accomplish this year. a list of not just resolutions but actual goals that i am going to achieve so that when i am celebrating the end of my 25th cycle i can look back and go, "yeah, 25 was a good year for me and 26 will be even more so!"

bob's list of new year determinations (in no particular order)
this year i promise to...

1.actually learn to play a song or two on that violin i've been using as a dust collector.
2.only make promises i fully intend on keeping and always keep the promises i make.
3.travel for the sole purpose of exploration and fun and not for trans-pacific, life-changing, running-away-from-my-problems moves.
4.actually read all six of jane austen's novels (and no, reading the back of the dvd cover does not count!).
5.finally put to paper the story idea that has been (for the last 6months anyway) keeping me up at nights.
6.train my genetically-enhanced loud voice to speak in a naturally softer tone (not kinder, softer)
7.teach myself and implement better money management (i.e. spending, saving, debt consolidating) so i am not living month to month.
8.put effort into looking decent and attractive to myself everyday.
9.go back to school and re-raise grade point average to something i can apply to other schools or jobs with.
10.loose the aforementioned butt-pounds and get back down to that pre-college, pre-breakdown, pre-nobody-loves-me-so-i'm-gonna-drown-my-sorrows-in-mocha-almond-fudge-ice-cream weight.
11.overcome my food addiction
12.learn how to surf.
13.learn some serious kick-ass, self-defence moves (dad...judo?).
14.re-introduce myself to my sewing machine and give my wardrobe that much-needed make-over.
15.do more real tennis and less wii tennis.
16.study a new language.
17.learn all the parts of the brain and their functions
18.write at least once a month to sammy-boy.
19.do at least one specially good deed per week.
20.improve my spiritual awareness and rely more on GOD and his direction in my life.